Peter Pan
by singsongsung
Summary: No.22. Rory/Logan.


**Peter Pan**

**A/N: **So, I'm beyond sad that Gilmore Girls has ended. I think it just really sank in.

Now that I've said that… here's my latest installment into the lives of Rory and Logan (at least, the way they should have gone). For the record, I will never, ever forgive David Rosenthal for breaking Logan and Rory up. Totally ruined the end of the show, in my opinion. Anyway… This is a couple weeks post **Wallow**. Once again, I love you if you review, so why not review this fic, too:) Ha, I rhymed. And yes, I know, all I've written lately is angst, but I've been stressed out and this is just what you get. Read on!

"Hey, Mopey," Lorelai said quietly as she walked into her daughter's room.

Rory looked away from the window. "Hey."

"Whatcha doing, sweets?"

Rory sighed. "Appreciating pathetic fallacy."

"Of course. I should have known," Lorelai joked. But she regarded her daughter with worried eyes. It had been days since she'd seen her daughter laugh, and the circles under Rory's eyes seemed to get darker each day. "Honey, I…"

"Mommy! We're back!" called a voice, interrupting her.

Rory took a deep breath, plastered on a fake smile, and turned around. "Hey, Lukey."

The five-year-old ran into his mother's waiting arms and Rory smiled genuinely. "You missed me, huh?" she asked, tickling him.

"We got to watch the grade six play today in school."

"Yeah, was it good?"

"Uh-huh. Tonight for homework I have to draw a scene," he said importantly.

"Wow, hard work," Rory commented, running her fingers through his silky, tangled hair. It was gloomy and rainy outside, and his blond hair was wet. "Let me know if you need help, okay?"

"I will."

"Hey, baby boy, Will and Emma are having a snack in the kitchen. You want one, too?"

"Yeah!" he cried enthusiastically, following Lorelai downstairs.

"Honey, wait!" Rory heard Lorelai call. "Let me dry your hair off a little first!"

Luke remained standing in the doorway of Rory's room. "Thanks for picking him up again," she said softly.

"No problem," he said, waving her thanks aside. He'd been driving to New Haven once daily for the past two weeks, as had her mother. Lorelai would drop Lucas off at school in the morning and Luke would pick him up after school. Both of them assured her that it was no problem at all. Lorelai had even gone so far as to say that it was great bonding time.

Rory had to admit that she was grateful to be home. Everyone in the town was willing to change their schedules to accommodate whatever she needed. Sookie and Michel were going into the inn earlier so that Lorelai could take the time to drive Lucas to school in the morning, and Lane had volunteered to change her hours so that she and Caesar could cover the time Luke needed to pick Lucas up. Miss Patty and Babette and Sookie had all volunteered to baby-sit the kids whenever she needed them to. Andrew had refused when she'd tried to pay him for a book the day before, and Kirk had shown up at eight o'clock on her first three mornings back in Stars Hollow to bring her gourmet coffee.

Living in the Twickham house was different. It was so much bigger than the house Rory had grown up in. Lorelai and Luke, Will, and Emma took up three rooms, and Lorelai had a sort of office/sewing room as well. Lorelai had also decorated another room almost exactly as it had been in their old house: Rory's. That was where she and Lory were sleeping. Will had volunteered to share his room with Lucas.

Lory was only a baby, and she was unaffected by everything. But Lucas was a little withdrawn. The play seemed to have taken his mind off the problems of his parents, and Rory was glad to see his little face lit up with happiness again.

As much as she hated it, Rory knew that she looked like a girl who had split up with her husband. She had been wearing her mother's and Lane's clothes for the past two weeks. She'd being hiding out inside, staring into space or out the window. She'd taken off and put back on her wedding rings over one hundred times. She walked around the house aimlessly. She didn't eat much, and only drank tea, not coffee. She was floating through life without a purpose. No matter where she went, she felt out of place.

"Come down and have a snack," Luke cajoled.

She smiled sadly at him. He had been very fatherly to her lately: gentle and protective. She loved him. "Maybe later."

He didn't press her, simply nodded and walked away.

Lorelai appeared seconds later. She closed the door behind her and sat down on the bed. Rory sighed, looking out the window again. "Mom, do we have to do this now?"

"Rory, I've given you space for eighteen days. That has to be some kind of record for me. I need you to talk to me now."

Rory nodded. She was relieved that Lorelai had at least given her some time.

"Honey, what happened?"

"I don't know! Why does everyone keep asking _me_? This is not my fault!"

"Sweetie, calm down." Lorelai looked alarmed.

"Calm _down_? Do you see what's happened?" Rory gestured wildly to her surroundings. "Have you seen your grandson?" Tears pooled in her eyes for the first time in a week. She'd tried so hard to stop crying.

Lorelai took both of Rory's hands in her own. "Sweets. I know."

"I never thought I'd be getting a divorce."

"Is that what's happening?" Lorelai asked gently. You're getting a divorce?"

"Did you not just hear my rant about not knowing?"

"Right. Sorry." Lorelai bit her lower lip. "Honey, have you at least tried talking to him?"

"_Mom_," Rory said wearily.

"Okay. I'm sorry. Can I talk about a _related_ issue?"

"Yeah, I guess."

Lorelai put her hand on her daughter's knee comfortingly. Her eyes were filled with sympathy. "Emily Gilmore called."

Rory flopped back onto her bad and pulled a pillow over her face. Lorelai laid down next to her.

"Grandma must be so mad."

"Um…yeah." Lorelai pulled the pillow away. "I can only fend her off for so long. Baby, listen to me. She's mad, yeah. She's going to be disappointed. But I need you to remember that you are her angel. Her perfect granddaughter, her little debutante. Soon enough, she'll get over it and blame me."

"Mom…don't say that."

"It's true, sweets. She could never stay mad at you."

Rory tears spilled over. "I just…I'm lucky to have all these people that love me. It's so corny, but it…it's true, and…I…I wonder if he's okay." She looked at her mother with almost guilty eyes.

"Oh, Rory. I'm sure he is."

"Maybe I should call Honor…"

"He'll be okay, babe. You both will."

"What about Lukey and Lory?"

"Rory. You know as well as I do that this is not the end of the world. You guys have fought before. You've come close to getting to this point before. And, yeah, this time is different. But maybe not entirely."

Rory looked around and pressed her lips together. "Can we go to the Crap Shack?"

They walked over. Rory was cold, even though she was wearing an old Stars Hollow High sweater of Lane's. Raindrops fell onto her eyelashes and mixed with her tears as they ran down her cheeks. It was a quiet, dreary day, and they only ran into a couple of people. They gave Rory supportive smiles but said nothing.

Lorelai had never sold the house. The electricity, water, and heating had been shut down, but they still went there occasionally. Will and Emma played there sometimes, amidst the remnants of the days when it was just the Gilmore girls. Luke still kept his boat in the garage. Babette took care of the lawn, and Lorelai allowed Taylor to store things there prior to town festivals.

When they reached the mailbox, which still had 'Gilmore' stenciled on it even though no mail was delivered there anymore, Rory broke into a run, feeling like a little kid. She opened the unlocked door and slowed down as she walked into her childhood room. It was one of the only places in the entire town that, to Rory, somehow seemed untouched.

Lorelai followed her in and they sat down together in the middle of the cold, bare floor.

"I lost my virginity in this room," Rory whispered, as if realizing it for the first time.

"A hell of a lot happened in this house," Lorelai agreed wryly.

"It's not the same."

"Well, no, honey, we moved the furniture."

Rory rolled her eyes. "No, coming home. It's not the same."

Lorelai stood up. "Hang on," she said, and returned seconds later with a box of Oreos.

"Ew, Mom, how long have those been here?"

"Not long," Lorelai replied, insulted. "And look, they're not even open." She settled back onto the floor. "Listen, sweetheart. I know it's not the same. God, if you could have seen yourself the first couple days you were here…" She twisted an Oreo open but did not eat it. "You've always come here to hide, baby. It couldn't last forever."

"At home…this house…Stars Hollow…with you…I always felt so invincible, so untouchable. I really could hide here."

"Maybe I sheltered you too much," Lorelai shrugged, offering Rory half of her Oreo. "Maybe in my effort to protect you from becoming a socialite, I shielded you from everything out there."

"It was nice, though. I wouldn't give it up for anything. I guess I just…didn't want to grow up."

"I knew I should have taken _Peter Pan_ away from you sooner."

"I miss it," Rory said softly.

"Rory. _Rory._ Hey, look at me. You have the two cutest kids in the world. You have your job. You have an entire town that cares about you. You've got a grandmother who's mad right now but who loves you to death. And hey, you're my daughter. That right there is enough."

Rory seemed to be lost in thought. "But am I really? I became everything you didn't want me to be. I let you down."

Lorelai put down her Oreo and faced her daughter fully. "Honey, no. Maybe I didn't want you living in the world I avoided like the plague, but it didn't really matter in the end. I wanted you to be happy, you know that."

Rory was trembling. She cuddled into her sweater further. "But look where I ended up. I'm hiding at home. I became that person that Grandma wanted me to be. I left everything we'd planned and became that person."

"But so what, Rory? You were happy as that person. You never let me down, sweets. I'm proud of you, babe. I am. You did want you wanted to do with your life."

"What I wanted, or what Grandma wanted? What I wanted, or w-what Logan wanted?" Rory asked tearfully.

Lorelai grabbed her daughter's shoulders. "Rory. What you wanted. You have to believe that. It was what you wanted."

"I guess."

"No, you _know_. You and Logan…okay, babe, maybe I'll never truly be able to like him. But he…and you…" Lorelai sighed, tears gathering in her eyes. "You know what scared me most about when I saw you two together?"

"What?"

Lorelai pulled Rory into a hug. "When I saw you and Dean, honey, I saw Chris and me. And let me tell you, that was damn terrifying. And you and Jess…I just saw him hurting you, because I saw some of Chris in him, too, and maybe a little of me. Are you catching the theme, here? I always saw Christopher in your boyfriends. With Logan, it was sort of like that, too. Logan was sort of like Jess, because when I just looked at him, I saw part of Chris and part of me. But when I looked at the two of you _together_… I saw me and Luke, honey. I saw me and Luke."

"What does that _mean_?"

"Trust me, kid, I'm still trying to figure it out. But it scared the hell out of me, Rory, because I knew that somehow, someday…you'd wind up together."

Rory twisted an Oreo open, and then put it back together. "No matter what I do, no matter what he does, I'll always be in love with him. _Always_. It's like some sort of punishment."

"Maybe," Lorelai agreed softly, planting a gentle kiss on her daughter's forehead. "But not if he feels the same way about you."


End file.
